Singles: Look for the BEST in yourself and those you date

Perhaps you’ve noticed – if you’ve been single and dating very long – that there tends to be a bit of the consumerism mindset in the world of dating. Have you ever felt like you’re “shopping” for a life partner – or being “shopped” by someone else? At Relationship Fitness Online, I foster a much different approach, one in which you aren’t “shopping” for a life partner, but you are attracting a life partner while appreciating and respecting each person you date, seeing them first and foremost as a human being, and then as a potential life partner.

With that in mind, here’s one of the quickest and most powerful ways to stimulate a fun and energizing conversation on your next date:

Be an Appreciator! Look for the best in yourself, the person you are on a date with, and the experiences that you are sharing together – and express your appreciation openly.

The power of appreciation is one of the most underutilized powers in relationships. And that’s a little surprising, considering how good it is for the soul. Appreciation is  one of the most effective ways to dramatically enhance your Relationship Fitness.

Appreciation is the act of recognizing the BEST in the people or world around you. It is to notice things that give life, health, vitality, and excellence to you and others (Cooperider and Whitney, 2000). It is an active feeling of thankfulness, which has an energetic quality that uplifts one’s energy and spirit. When you appreciate, you bring attention to something you value in another person, yourself, and the moment that you are sharing together.  And by bringing attention to it, you magnify it, giving it greater life and expression!

What are some things you value about the last person you dated? Did you express that to them? What are some of the things that you deeply appreciate about yourself? Did you bring those things into your date? What are some fun and creative ways that you could begin to express appreciation in your dating life?

Here are some simple things you can do to begin to use the power of appreciation during your next date:

1. Let your date know how much you appreciate the time you are spending together (if you actually DO appreciate it) and the things they have done for you.
2. Notice a personal quality or character trait about the person you are dating and let them know how much you appreciate that about them.
3. Identify what you appreciate most about yourself, and make those qualities and characteristics a part of the date!
4. Ask the person you are with what they appreciate about their life and the people they know. It makes for a great, energizing conversation and will help you to get to know what the person truly values and why.

CHALLENGE: Practice the power of appreciation during your next date. Notice how it makes you feel and the impact it has on your time together.

And remember, being an Appreciator will make you very attractive, and that’s important when searching for “Mr. or Miss Right.”

“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” – Margaret Cousins

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