What We Can Learn from Complaining
Complaining is everywhere. Just listen… hear it? It’s in our minds, in our meetings, on our radios, on the TV… There is in fact an entire movement established to create a complaint-free world, which I think is pretty cool. And yet, we live in a river of complaints. We’re already doing it, and we’re surrounded by it. It could be called one of the biggest “woes” of our everyday life.
What can we do about it?
Since it’s already happening – and I doubt that you or I can really stop it – why not learn from it? What can we learn from our complaints and the complaints of others? If you’ve been following The Weekly WOW! Challenges and watching the videos, then you know we can listen to complaining as a way to discover two very important things about ourselves and others:
1. What we care about
2. What we are committed to
In other words, when you hear a complaint, there is a good possibility that beneath that complaint is something the person cares about. For example, I was late for an appointment this morning. Fifteen minutes late. And I was complaining to myself about it. While complaining, I asked myself: What is it that I care about and am committed to? My discovery? I care about being on time and honoring the time of the person I was meeting. I am committed to managing my energy and time effectively and using it efficiently. Once I realized that, I noticed my complaining stopped and I started asking a much better question: How can I be on time next time? What can I do more effectively next time?
It is interesting to note that sometimes the intensity of our complaint indicates the intensity of our passion BENEATH the complaint. You may be real passionate about spending quality time with your family each evening, and yet you are constantly being asked – or told – to work late. Your complaining may get rather intense, and that is true because of the intensity of your desire to be present with your family in the evening.
Have you ever felt bad about yourself or about others because of complaining? I know I have! And yet, when you shift your focus of mind and energy from complaining to appreciating what you care about and are committed to, you realize you’re pretty awesome person after all! And that really is the challenge – to shift our focus of attention to what we truly care about and are committed to in life and being an active stand for that – instead of wasting our time and energy complaining.
Of course, there are several other reasons that people complain: to get attention, to avoid responsibility, to excuse themselves from work, and so on. But for now, see if you can discover what your complaining is revealing to you about yourself and others. What is it that you REALLY care about and are committed to in your life, and how can you be a more effective stand for that TODAY?
Thanks for being a part of The WOW! Movement. Many great things ahead…so stay tuned and engaged!
- Denver
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