Why is Change So Hard?
Change is difficult for most people. A primary reason for this starts at an early age. As parents, we work to create a safe and secure environment for our children (which is wonderful) and this safety and security often means an environment with as a little change as possible. In fact, parents work very hard to avoid change – to push it away – for as long as possible.
We really aren’t taught how to deal with change. Often, it’s perceived as the enemy. A nuisance. A disturbance to how life should be. And I think that is why people fear it so much – they haven’t been taught how to deal with it. How to embrace it. How to use it. And yet, change is the expression of life. If we were able to stop change, we would be stopping life from expressing itself.
Think about how much of what you have been taught is designed to help you create stability and consistently in your life. Again, this is wonderful, but woefully incomplete. Have you been taught how to create change? Have you been taught how – in the midst of stability – to become aware of what needs to be changed and then know what to do to change it? Have you been taught what to do with your emotions and feelings while in the midst of change?
I have witnessed a great number of people who have established stability and “status quo” in their life and intimate relationships, and many of those people are miserable or moving in that direction. Many of them are lifeless, lacking in passion and a vibrant energy for life. Many of those people are going to curse life when the wave of change moves through and takes what they have worked so hard to establish, and when their relationship begins to unravel.
At midlife, we see just how real change is. No matter how good we have gotten at establishing stability and safety in the first half of life, midlife shows up, and the waves of change seem to accelerate in many ways. For some, those waves are gentle. For others, they are like Hurrican Katrina. But they do come – for everyone. And when they come, we discover – cognitively and emotionally – how ill prepared we have been for the natural changes of life. We realize that we have learned to dance with stability, but not change. And many of us panic.
One of the most important things I do as a Relationship Fitness Coach is help individuals and couples understand how to dance with change. How to take this natural expression of life and use it to spark amazing growth within themselves and their relationship. It is not something to be feared, or to avoid. That only creates massive amounts of stress and distress. It is something to step into, embrace, and learn from. In the language of “The WOW! Movement,” it’s about learning how to transform Woe into WOW! – which is a life and relationship skill worth learning! As you learn that skill, you also learn how to be an intentional creator of your own life. And that makes for a powerful, dynamic and highly intimate relationship!
Think about all of the changes ahead of you. Those life will bring you, and those you will create. Are you ready? Do you fear those changes? How would your life be different if you knew how to navigate change – and use it to your benefit – to the enrichment of your life? If you could learn how to transform the Woe of life into the WOW! of life, what would that make possible for you? If that sounds appealing to you, I invite you to call me at (812) 299-0214 or e-mail me at denver@relationshipfitnessonline.com. I’d love to hear from you, and provide you with a no-risk opportunity to experience the power of personal coaching in transforming yourself, your relationships, and your life from Woe to WOW!
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Comments
I agree, we are not taught how to deal with change. We are taught that we need to get comfortable, but change happens sometimes when we least expect it or in a way we don’t like at all. Yet if we dance with change, instead of fighting it, change can give our life new meaning and be a wonderful teacher.
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